From the Top of the Star Apple Tree

Daniel was left alone at the cliff edge. He felt the compote of star apple sitting heavily in his guts. He leaned over again, feeling the unmistakable sense of fear sitting in his feet and ankles, as though the very sole of him was being burned with tiny candles of doubt. He sat down on the edge and attempted to turn, felt his heartbeat jump into his throat and his eyes water, and realised he lacked the willpower to commit to such a manoeuvre. Instead he sat and, not for the first time that day, felt like crying. Charlie was dashing about excitedly below, he lifted up Oscar, kissed him all over his face and threw him into the water with glee. Each child in turn Charlie picked up and extended the same courtesy, his excitement catching on like a fever, soon all the children splashed and screamed and tossed one another about with gusto. Only Alfie remained still, looking calmly up at Daniel, waiting for him to come down.

He took another look at the distant horizon, the glint of the vast lake visible through a break in the trees. Without consciously doing so he began to cry, hot tears rolling down his face. They were a while off yet, but he knew then he had kept his promise to the sisters of the Holy Mother, to the orphans, to himself. If he died falling from that cliff, it would be in the knowledge that he had not left even one of his ten brothers and sisters behind. He cried harder, his breathing came out into deep and interruptive sobs. He tried very hard to slow everything down, but it was all too much for a twelve year old boy to take.

    He felt his heartbeat in his mouth.

    He heard a bird take flight from the top of the star apple tree.

    He wriggled his toes and felt the soft earth dig into the spaces between.

    He smiled at the eruption of pure joy below.

    He kissed Bravo on her lips as she floated in front of him.

    He jumped into the sky with a heart as light as air itself.